Little Chart

Found this website off of Nity's post from Sunday & plugged my numbers in, just to see what it would look like:



Did I mention our u/s is scheduled? I think so, but if not... it will be January 9th in Jax. Hopefully this is our last trip over there. Tried scheduling the 1st OB appt, but they pretty much even talk to me about anything until I am officially released by the fertility specialist. That really bothered me.

Since we are still paying out of pocket for anything regarding the fertility clinic, I asked how much our u/s will be. We were told $350 consistently since last May, but I wanted to confirm. It WAS different & here's how it breaks down...

u/s of 1 baby: $250
u/s of 2 babies: $375
u/s of 3 babies: $500

Plus the office visit fee of $70.

Is this normal at your clinic? I wonder how much extra work it is for each baby to cost $125 more per baby. Oh, yeah, out of pocket, too! :) Glad we are getting that cryo money back to help pay for it!

Paid off our 1st part of the labwork (the estrogen during the stim phase + the hCG/prog/estrogen from beta #1)... $375. Since I'm working a half-day tomorrow, I'm heading by the hospital to pay the hCG check from yesterday. Not sure how much it will be, but I can say I'm happy to be able to start saving next month for the baby!!

We'll be meeting with our financial guy for our normal semi-annual check in come January, so we're hoping he'll have some sort of advice of money we should save or what-not for the baby's arrival. Any advice any of ya'll have would be great, too! Our current plan is to just pad our emergency fund more & save more for my maternity leave... I won't have enough leave by then (due to bed rest for this & past surgeries for endo) to cover 6 weeks, but part of it. So, we'll need to have that packed away.

Enough of my rambling, I'll sign off now. Heading grocery shopping for tomorrow night... we'll have a bonfire & friends over for the New Years Eve. Really looking forward to it!

Today we are 5wks along.

Second Beta

Came in at 3224.

Our u/s is scheduled for January 9th.

Per betabase.info, our numbers appear to maybe be more than 1? I'm in the top 0.08% for a singleton, top 15% for twins, & top 43% for trips. Time & that u/s will tell, I guess!

I'm continuing the PIO since we have about $100 worth of the stuff. When that runs out, I will move the suppos.itories.

Went to the PCP today & we are officially pregnant to our insurance company. I was nervous the p.ee test wouldn't be positive. Weird.

I haven't been feeling too bad so far. A bit of nausea today, but I'm glad my job is a desk job... not moving around too much sure helps. I've been sleeping much more, which was nice when I wasn't working. I think I'll go home & crash for a bit tonight.

It's the a.nal OCD w/in me, but we've already designed little graph paper depictions of each room (currently the office & the guest room). I've cut out the little furniture pieces... it appears we will use the current office for the baby room & the current guest room as the guest/office. It will have three desks in it with the twin bed. But, it should work. Silly, I know.

Already took the Christmas tree down. I have a pretty big nursing test (like a repeat final exam for my class last Spring) the second week of classes, so I wanted as much cleaned & put up & done as possible, so I can review all my notes & be prepared for the test. Rumor has it if we don't score 75 or higher, we can't continue in the program... but others have heard otherwise... so we'll se in a week or so when class starts back up. That 1st class should be very interesting.

I will be 5 wks tomorrow. Big bonfire planned for New Years Eve at our place that I'm looking forward to. I'll work a half day, then head home to get stuff ready!

Hope you're all doing well! :)

First Beta

Came in at 468.

Seems high to me, but the nurse didn't really act like it was high. Checked betabase & it looks like a nice, solid number.

Will have our second beta on Monday. Then, ultrasound 2 weeks later.

She told me I could start the supps for the progesterone, but we'll probaby continue the PIO for now. I hate to waste the $100 on meds I already have only to buy more/different meds.

Either way, we are just thrilled!!!

What a wonderful Christmas gift!! I am so glad we decided to continue with this cycle! :)

No Words Can Describe...

I caved...



We're 10dp3dt or 3w6d along.

I was flipping out. Called Nick. Freaked him out.

Was heading to my Mom's anyways, so I decided to tell her in person. We both cried. She pulled out all these baby & maternity clothes she's bought & saved for me.

I know there's many more milestones for us to pass, but I'm just relishing in the fact that RIGHT NOW... we're pregnant!

Oh, because my Mom didn't trust the Dollar Tree test, here's an EPT. We're saving the digital one for Wednesday!!



We're telling close friends & family! Kari & JJ... don't have my phone with me or I would have already sent the texts messages! :)

We know we are SOO blessed right now & are praying that we will meet this little one in 8-9 months. Thanks for all your support!

Getting Better

I think Nick found a "new" spot for the PIO this morning, cuz it didn't (& still doesn't) ache too much now.

Thanks for the advice. We have been heating the oil prior to injection, but I hadn't even thought of the icing thing. Maybe cuz I'm too lazy to get up before the shot... :)

Been pretty tired lately or just wanting to sleep. Maybe that cuz there's nothing else to do around or cuz my body needs the rest.

Still not getting symptoms or such, just cramping. Nothing really painful, but it seems like that may be a good thing.

I may cave & POAS the day of beta. Since our estradiol b/w cost over $100 OOP, I'm scared to find out how much it will be since they're adding in progesterone + hcG levels, too. Just don't wanna pay hundreds of dollars in case it's negative.

I've finished the Twilight saga (couple of days ago), a couple of movies, & even the Midnight Sun (Sarah, have you read this? About 12 parallel chapters of Twilight from Edward's perspective... pretty good, I think!). I guess I will start a new book. Nick & I may go see a movie tonight. Like a date. Been a while since we've done that. For that matter, been a while since I've been out of the house! LOL Or worn a b.ra, too!

Hope you are all doing well! Some wrap-up Christmas shopping, hanging out with my mom, & a bit of cleaning are in the plans for my weekend! How about yours?

We're 7dt3dt.

Pain in My...

Well, it's either the increase of PIO dosage or the fact I've had more shots or a combination of both... but my booty is hurting.

I've been putting a hot pad on each site after the shots today & yesterday doesn't seem to help, but maybe it does.

The girls are starting to ache, too.

Lots of cramps, but not sure if that means anything. It's weird trying to figure out if it my BODY or the MEDS. Very strange.

And the estrogen is definitely kicking in. I can't imagine how it will be after a week of this stuff! LOL

I've got a friend heading over today to hang out... looking forward to that!

And, even though I've got lots of my mind with the cycle, it's crazy to realize Christmas is just a week away! :)

We're officially 6dp3dt.

Kinda Liking This Bed-Rest Stuff

So, I'm not technically on bed rest, I guess. In my mind, I imagine bed rest is pretty much just that... getting up only to potty & eat.

The nurse at transfer said that they don't recommend bed rest after day of transfer since it reduced blood flow. So, I'm still getting up & wrapping a gift here & there, doing a little bit, not really much more than reading, TV, & sleep.

I guess I'm still not going too crazy with the 2WW yet. I think mostly because I'm, umm, either reading, sleeping, or watching TV! Kind of keeping my mnind of the most obvious.

The only difference I would say I feel now is the abdominal stuff. The pulling pain that I normally feel during ovulation or me.nstruation... the endo on my left ovary. I'm sure the estrogen is affecting it. I get random crampy, non-painful twinges. Surprisingly, I'm not really obsessing over it yet.

I have less than 8 days now. I am pretty sure we won't be POAS beforehand. I just want to have that hope as long as possible. It may be the only time I can have this hope. Although I am dearly hanging onto that hope & prayerfully begging to one day meet at least one of these little ones next year.

We up our progesterone to 50mg tomorrow (from 25mg since last Thursday) & I start estrogen patches. I didn't know about the estrogen until right before the transfer. The shots don't hurt too much, but each hip is definitely getting tender. I imagine it'll just get worse.

Oh, well. Definitely something I'm willing to do for that chance.

Just to update, 4dp3dt. Getting closer.

Gestating...

Well, I will consider myself gestating! :)

Been lounging around so much & didn't even connect to the internet since Friday! Sorry!

Got there a bit early Friday morning. Was so excited & nervous to see if all three little ones made it through the night.

They did!

We transferred 2 8cell grade2 + 1 7cell grade2 day3 embryos. Doctor said they looked great & he was very pleased with how they've developed.

Friday was strict bed rest, but we were "approved" for normal activities yesterday, but I'm still lounging. With the exception of attending my cousin's graduation dinner & church this morning... oh, & a trip to Borders for the other Twilight books. Too expensive there, so will drop by WM to pick them up. And I have about 20+ borrowed books & 10+ borrowed DVDs from my parents to help occupy my time until Dec24.

Yeah, that's right. Christmas Eve. It's not too bad yet, but I know it will get even harder each day that goes by.

Looking forward to checking on everyone else! It's weird, I know, but I've missed ya'll & your updates! Thanks so much for all the comments pre-transfer! They mean so much!

Oh, yeah, we're officially 2dp3dt. Awww.

Got the Report!

JUST got off the phone with our doctor.

Out of the 4 eggs, 3 were of good quality & were ICSI'ed. As of this moment, all 3 embryos are growing & are good quality, too.

We will do the transfer tomorrow @ 10:30am & he said we will most likely transfer all 3 of the embryos.

We will head to Jax in the morning & return tomorrow after the transfer.

Please, please, please continue to pray for our little ones & that God continues to guide the hands of those that care for them & for successful transfer & the next two weeks as my body attempts to "house" them!!!

Much Love & Hope Through Him,
"Nurse Nicky" & Rachel

PS- I was telling Nick this morning how surprised I was that the IM (intramuscular) shots didn't hurt... he said that's cuz I have my own Nurse Nicky... :)

Surprisingly Calm

I thought I'd be crazy-nervous waiting for the fert report, especially when it seems like everyone else gets a day1 report & we will be getting a day2 report.

But, today, I'm fine. I'm definitely thinking about the "little ones", but not obsessing over them.

Praying lots for those that are caring for them & for them.

I guess since it is out of my control, I'm more relaxed about it.

I am looking forward to the next 2 weeks off from work & school. I am sure I will get bored, but we'll get through it somehow.

I know the whole bed rest after transfer is an issue with differing opinions. We've decided I will remain on bed rest or modified bed rest until after Christmas. Specifically, after the beta. I guess part of me feels like it's the best thing I can do for the little ones right now & removing myself from work will dramatically reduce the stress I'd feel & my body would feel.

So, if it doesn't work... I won't wonder "What if I had stayed down longer?" Just a personal preference. I know it doesn't really increase success rates, but for us... it's the right thing.

And, since Nick will also be out of school w/ less pressure to get hours in at work, I'm hoping we can spend days together at the house. He's not so much for lounging around all day {I TOTALLY am! LOL}, but it'll be nice to lounge around a bit. Watch some movies. Go through pictures. Talk about our plans for the house & property. Talk about our hopes & dreams & potential children. When I'm alone, I've got the Twilight series all together & waiting to be read.

Some relaxation. And then beta & Christmas. Sure sounds nice to me!

Please know that I will update as soon as I can tomorrow after hearing from the clinic. We're still assuming a 3d transfer, but it will definitely be nice to hear how many of them fertilized & are still making it.

Got my final exam tonight. This is pathetic, but I need a 49% to pass the class. Now, I'm usually not THAT bad... I like to try & learn & get a decent grade in the class, but I've been so focused on this IVF that it hasn't been too hot of a semester. I'm hoping to have some time to review the notes more (I have studied a bit) before it. But, I must say I'm more than relieved to be done in less than 5 hours. And I don't care if I get a C. Maybe I'll squeeze a B out anyways... only need a 79% for that.

:)

Have a wonderful day!! I will be reading & commenting after the final tonight! Can't wait to read all the updates coming through!

Retrieval Over

I think that was one of the quickest visits I've had at the clinic so far.

Got there shortly before 8am. They took me back & did my vitals around 8:15. Not sure what time I woke up, but I was back in the car right after 10am.

But, they only got 4. I cried the whole time in PACU.

Nick was told that they got 4 good eggs & 1 smaller one that may fertilize, though.

Hoping they all fertilize & get a chance to develop.

We hear back Thursday with all the details.

I'm not in pain, just a little weird sensation in my abdomen (not painful or uncomfortable), walking slow, not tired.

I'll be spending the rest of the day at home studying for my final exam tomorrow. Maybe running a few errands w/ my Mom (she'll be watching after me since Nick has to head to school for his last final exam this evening).

Will be able to post a couple more pics in the next couple of days.

A Quickie

Trigger wasn't that bad. I was so nervous... like leaning over the bathroom counter, gripping the faucet. Felt a little stick... I thought he freaked out & barely put the needle in... turns out, it was all the way in. Kept asking how much more & he said "lots" plenty ot times! LOL But, I was truly surprised at how little I felt. I could feel the medicine going in, but not painfully. It was tender a bit after & when I woke up this morning. Then got a "Happy Trigger" text from JJ... I was so giddy, girl, getting that! LOL!! We JUST finished & I was ready to talk about it!

Heading out to Jax in a bit. We'll be staying the night, then heading to the clinic.

We're supposed to arrive by 8am & retrieval's set for 9am.

A bit nervous, but happy to know that I will be knocked out somewhat.

Then it's back to town. Nick will drop me off to my Mom, who will then babysit me for the rest of the night! :)

And pick up our Christmas cards. I am going to try to force myself to NOT address them until after my final exam Wednesday, because I really need to spend any extra time preparing for that. Then, no school until Jan7! Nice.

We don't get the fert report until Thursday, which will also be when we find out when we head back for the transfer.

Ooooh, please let there be one or two to transfer back...

Have a nice night! I'll try to update as soon as possible w/ the egg info. Do they tell you same day the number of (suspected) mature eggs? Or is that after the fert report because they assume only the mature ones fertilize?

It's now hitting me how weird it is that I will be leaving my most treasured "belongings"... part of me... there. I'm already sad that we have to go away. Many prayers will be said & thoughts consumed with these little lives.

How crazy to always think of what's happening with your embryos at every moment. "Are they doing ICSI right now?" "Are they in the incubator now?" Wish we could be there in the lab just to watch over them dividing & reaching each milestone already. It may be the closest we ever become to parents.

Oh, definitely ice cream tonight. Even if it's just McD's or Dairy Queen for a sundae for my "light dinner". :)

Trigga Tonight

10pm is our trigger time.

A couple of shots from this week... discovered my little point & shoot has a B&W option, so I tried it.

Stim day8:
Stim day9, at the hotel night before our last monitoring appt:


We took our Christmas pics this morning & a cropped version of this photo made it on our card this year. Just thought I'd include it:


It's always funny to figure out how to get 3 dogs + us in the frame with the self-timer, so adding the cat made it even better! I think we laughed & yelled at each other the whole time! Crazy! :) Next year, I hope we add another human to the mix...

Don't we all... :)

Retrieval is Scheduled

Since I was not in pain for the last couple of days, I was pretty nervous about today's appointment.

In vain.

We have:

RT: 19, 19
LT: 14, 15, 19

Will take 3bravelle + 3menopur tonight, then trigger tomorrow at 10pm.

Gotta be back Tuesday morning at 8am to prep for the retrieval.

Doctor was pretty optimistic about the quality of the eggs.

Only disappointment is that we won't get a fert report until Thursday morning. Wish it could be Wednesday, but like JJ said... we don't want them to mess with the embryos more than necessary. The less they are bothered, the better.

Already putting the health of our potential children above what we desire. Aww.

I am trusting we will have at least 1 embryo to transfer. Maybe 2.

We will probably be looking 3d transfer on Friday. Which is fine with me... I'd thought 5d transfer before, but I'm thrilled with this.

Just wanted to update!

Trying Not to Worry

This is weird to me & I'm trying to be calm & trust that everything is still working how it's supposed to.

Tuesday & Wednesday: my belly was bloated, painful, from what I assumed growing follicles

Thursday & Friday: my belly is not bloated, doesn't hurt, and my initial assumption is that my follies have stopped growing.

I don't know if this is normal. Maybe something was going on in there that made it hurt so much, but it has resolved & since there's only 5ish follicles growing... it's back to normal.

Anywho... thought I'd run it by you all & see what you thought.

We're planning to head to Jax this evening, then have our 7:30 appt tomorrow.

Still hoping it's the 5 follies growing & trigger on Sunday evening. I'll definitely update with the info when I can!

We're Still On...

Well, we decided to continue. If this doesn’t work, I WILL be following Duck’s advice & get healthier. Even if we do not have a 2nd IVF, I will be healthier. Okay, I’ll still be healthy if this does work, but you all know what I mean! :)

When I mentioned the idea to Nick, he immediately shot it down. This may sound silly, but we have kind of felt this cycle was destined to be. The way the fundraising worked out, the timing of the cycle, the little affirmations along the way.

I got in the mindset of a bitter infertile. It’s been a while since I was THAT infuriated at what we have to go through for the chance. It’s hard to really believe that people get pregnant w/out all this. And I was so hurt and crushed by nothing more.

But, I can be thankful…

I have 6 follicles (one more than Sunday’s scan, remember?) w/ 5 at a good size at this time.

I do not have any dominant follicles. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt to be canceled involuntarily.

I am in pain with only 6 follies… I can’t imagine having twice or three times the amount.

We probably won’t have any embryos to freeze. Although it makes the success rate higher for subsequent transfer (and cheaper, yes), we were still very uncomfortable with having our potential children in frozen limbo. I was still very much hoping for 2 or 3 embryos to freeze, but we were just uncomfortable with it. So, now that option is pretty much out. Oh, and we’ll get a refund of $800 to help pay for the extra meds we hadn’t budgeted for!

If we do a 2nd fresh cycle, we know a different route to take. I guess the RE assumed due to my age that endo wouldn’t have affected my egg production that much… now they know it does. If we have a next time, they already know to start with more meds & no Lupron for me.

We have such a great support system. Our friends & family have been incredible. Absolutely incredible.

There IS hope. Cathleen had 2… she has a sweet little girl growing right now!

I have to say that I’ve got a new mind-shift this morning.

Yesterday was horrible. It was freezing & I had to wear a knee-length dress (no pants feel good with my belly) & stand in 30degree temps (yay, Florida) for about 10m before entering the facility for the u/s. Then waited another 20m for the tech to arrive (right on time, but I was hoping to get in & out earlier), had the crappy u/s, went for the b/w w/in the hospital. Left almost an hour later. Got to work… w/out my calendar. And, my calendar is a huge resource, a de-stressor that also contained my IVF med dosage sheet. That they told me to bring to EVERY appt. Oops.

So, neither place has my calendar.

Then hearing from the nurse, then back from the nurse.

Crying or trying to not cry all day. Was it just the disappointment or the estrogen rising? Maybe both?

A presentation in class… in which each group was supposed to take 10m. And almost have of the groups took over 25m. I was so going crazy inside. And those chairs are not comfortable w/ my pouching belly.

On the way home, it took an extra 15m due to a wreck.

BUT today is better.

Today I have hope. I trust that God is in control no matter what the outcome.

Thanks so much for all of your comments. They really made me change my perspective. You all are awesome & I feel blessed to have you all in my life.

What Would You Do?

Got another call back from the nurse.

She said she talked to my doctor.

On the one hand, we do have 5 good sized follicles. On the other hand, we only have 5 good sized follicles.

The decision is up to us whether or not to cancel. We can stop the drug right now & start the birth control as soon as my cycle starts back up.

She said instead of the Lupron, we'd use the antagon protocol. She said they do actually see an increase in the number of eggs, but that {of course} they don't know if they'll see an increase in our number.

She said it would be best to make that decision tonight & that seems so stressful to me. I have class tonight & was planning to take the shot there. So, instead of being able to talk with Nick about this & make this decision... I feel pressured to make this NOW.

This was better timing, since I get some holiday hours with Christmas break. I start classes back up in January & will probably have one of the hardest semesters so far & I'm sure it would be too much to juggle driving to Jax & back, taking shots, the time needed off for retrieval & transfer. And, if it worked, my due date needed to be tailored more to school, too.

My #1 concern is that we DO pay out of pocket. If we stop now, I'd have 20vials of Bravelle (donated, once/lifetime deal) & 5 vials of Menopur that we can use for the next cycle. And, the money we've already paid would be applied for the next cycle.

But, if we do cancel this one, I am not sure we'd realistically be able to cycle again until the end of next summer. And at that point, I'm 8mths older & we still won't know if I can produce more than 5 or 6 eggs.

Now it's deciding if I just want it this bad & not thinking realistically or not having faith or how horrible I'll feel if we don't even make it to transfer if we do continue this cycle.

Oh my. I just don't know what the BEST thing to do is. So, what do YOU think? I promise I won't hold anyone at fault or liable, but just wondering what others would do...

The nurse said if it were her, she'd stop & start again the next cycle.

Talked w/ Nurse

She confirmed the 5 follicles + 1 smaller follicle.

Here's how it goes...

RT side... 11, 12, 5
LT side... 10, 9, 14
e2... 372

I will stay on 3 bravelle + 2 menopur. Which means I get to order & pay for at least 4 more vials om menopur. My refill includes 4 each time, but I'm hoping they'll let me refill just 2.

My next appointment is Saturday in Jax. Umm, at freaking 7:30. She said 7:15 & I told her we travel 3hrs to get there. So, she generously gave me 7:30, but told me they'll probably call back for me to come in earlier. Hmm, so I can sit there another 1.5hrs before getting seen by a doctor?

Anyhow, this nurse didn't seem to think that we'd trigger on Saturday, but maybe Sunday. We'll see how it all looks on Saturday.

Sure hope it's Sunday since Nick has a final exam at 7:30am Monday morning. He'll talk w/ his professor just in case, but it would work out SO much better for it to be on Tuesday.

We'll still continue praying this will work out.

I mentioned the idea of cancelling & she basically said after the scan on Saturday, maybe we'll talk about it. She said they like to have at least 3 good follicles. By good, I have no idea what she defines good as. The size? I have read some won't trigger until 36 & some will trigger at like 18-20.

Another waiting game.

Atleast OHSS Isn't a Concern

Trying to stay somewhat positive, but it's not working very well.

After exponentially increasing in discomfort... graduating to pain, I thought FOR SURE I'd have more follicles than Sunday's scan.

Nope.

Now, it seems I have 2 "good" sized follicles on the right side w/ 1 very small one. And 3 "good" sized follicles on the left side.

She measured them like 13x10, so I don't know if that counts as a 13 or 10? If they average growth of 2mm/day & they grow them to 18mm, then I guess it could be ER in 3 days. It sure doesn't seem like there will be any more follicles up & coming.

So, 5 it is. Hopefully.

I know I should wait to hear from the IVF nurse (I went to the u/s technician here in town, not at the clinic 3hrs away), which should call after their 1pm meeting, but I'm just so discouraged. I wonder if we should just cancel... keep the monies on deposit & then try again at the beginning of the year. It just seems like so much money to waste of 5 little eggs.

I'm, again, disapointed in my body. Wish I could be on the normal side of something.

Again, I'm trying to stay positive. Maybe it means all 5 of them will be good, mature eggs. It only takes one. Blah, Blah, Blah.

I just wanna go home, crawl into bed, & cry until I fall asleep again.

Sure hope everyone else has a much better morning & day than I've had.

Happy to Be So Uncomfortable

Cuz it means my ovaries are getting bigger.

I have to say, I have been pretty disappointed at how I haven't felt much going on yet & did that mean not much was happening.

Today's my 1st day back to work since starting the stims & it's slightly painful to have to sit here up-right at work. Yay! I guess that means something is going on.

Tomorrow is my next u/s & b/w. Hopefully they will tell me I have 2 or 3 more follicles growing, in addition to my 5 from Sunday.

Have a great day!

Shooting

My side of the bed...


A "semi-macro" of the needles & vials building up...


The night before my last BCP...

Ya'll Rock

Oh, thank you so much for all of your encouragement. I guess I just assumed since I was being monitored that soon, that they expected something to be going on. Then, I just started worrying about whether or not any add'l follicles would start growing.

I guess the thing that makes me most nervous is the fact that I don't feel much going on. I gets lots of ovulation pain, but not too much right now.

But, I really cling to the overall "theme" of your comments... slow & steady. I don't care if stims take 15 days if it means we've got eggs!

And I don't know how many times I told Nick about Cathleen & her 2 eggs at retrieval & a BFP, too! And a nursing school classmate that had 4 eggs retrieved & got a BFP, too.

I'm a bum right now. I was planning to go into work & get a few hours in (I work 10hr days, so I get 2 days "off" every 2 weeks) to avoid using leave... but I just didn't want to. I didn't want to get upset having to tell everyone how it was going or what not. So, I ended up finally putting on a b.ra & going to the grocery store to buy enough to make some Rice Krispy treats. Mmm. I wanna hop right back into bed & take a nap, but I seriously need to work on a presentation for school.

Ready for the semester to be over with! :) Just hoping my ER won't be on the same day I have my final exam! LOL