BFN

That is all.

11dp3dt: So Stinking Close...

So, I bought an HPT last night at WalMart. I want to use the digital one if we get our BFP, but there was only a 7pack in stock... no way was I spending that much money on what might not have worked. The one I did buy was an 88cent test very similar to Dollar Tree's.

Yesterday, my cramping continued w/ occasional nausea. I can say my feeling felt a bit crazy, but not any crazier than if my period was a day away. This morning, my cramps are present, but not so much the nausea.

I woke up several times with the fullest bladder, but didn't even have a cup to use (you know those cheapies!!); I was very tempted, though.

Let me share why I didn't want to test earlier, other than the crushing disappointment that comes with a pee stick BFN.

On December 22, 2008, we found out we were pregnant. The result of that pregnancy is sitting beside me giving me kisses.

Additionally, it is also my parent's 38th wedding anniversary. Pretty special, huh? I hope we have good news for them, but I sure didn't want to present bad news to them, either. {Mom: I totally know you will know now, but I hope this will be good news.}

Also, DH will be off tomorrow starting his 5 day Christmas Weekend off. It will be the first time we are together when we find out.

So, the sappy reasons for not testing early. And the one that I am scared to get a negative.

I might be using an HPT prior to the bloodwork is drawn. Since the lab I go to is out of area for the clinic, I usually have to wait for the results to be faxed, then get a call from the clinic. The previous times, I have gone fairly early to have it drawn around 8am, but I think I'm gonna buck the system & go like 9a or 10a. I will still have to wait the same amount of time for a call back. We'll see. I normally call & leave a voicemail that I've gotten my blood drawn as a heads up, but I'm guessing not that many of them will be in office tomorrow.

I will post when I know either way.

In other news, I think I'm done with my Christmas shopping. I just placed an order on Amazon... I love Amazon Prime! Even better when it's free! :) Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!

10dp3dt

Well, yesterday was pretty uneventful, too. Little Bit didn't get a nap, so around 7p he was asleep! And I laid down with him! Woke back up a couple of hours later to do the PIO shot, then couldn't fall back asleep.

I was up for hours on Facebook, Pinterest, & Dr. Google. I even found someone that got a BFN on 10dp3dt, then a BFP on 11dp3dt to then have twins! Crazy & rare from all the searching I've done. ;)

But, I still have resisted the pee stick. In fact, I haven't searched through my meds from last cycle, but I *think* I had one left over. Not positive since I haven't looked yet.

I think the reason I don't want to is because of how let down I have felt getting those BFNs after each IVF. I know you can't trust them, but I guess I feel like if I don't test, then I won't get a negative, then I have a little bit longer to hope.

Late last night, as I sipped soda (shhh... I went over my 8oz allowance...) & sat in front of the computer screen, I felt the nausea kick in. I can't say for sure that I'm not imagining it, but I have also felt nauseaus this morning, too.

And I woke up with cramping. Which I feel kind of happy about. I guess it could mean it worked or not, but in the past it usually is a good sign.

Oh, and while cooking dinner last night, I totally blew up on my husband. I even thought inside "Why am I getting so angry?", slammed the baby gates, & stormed upstairs. Then Google-ed if anger could be a symptom. ;) I always equate mood swings to happy-sad, but I think tempers & anger could be one, too, right? I don't know. Could also be PMS from an impending period?

So, not too much longer to go & the last 12hrs I have gotten really excited about. This afternoon/evening will be spent finishing up Christmas grocery + gift shopping since I will be in town later this evening. Other than driving in for my beta, I plan to stick around the house until Christmas!

Happy Tuesday to You All!

Almost 9dp3dt

Well, today I haven't had much of any symptoms so that makes me feel crazy. Not really any cramps.

But, I've also been busy with family & church stuff. Which has been incredible at keeping my mind off what may be occurring within my body. Maybe because I'm not still, I haven't felt the funky twinges & stretching & cramping?

Here I go grasping at straws. Yall, I don't know what to think.

I also am pretty sure I won't be POAS before beta day, either. Which is both scary & relieving.

Guess that is all!

Hope you all are relaxing for the big week start up! :)

6dp3dt

Just a little update...

Still feeling alright as far as the crazy thoughts go! LOL. My Google-ing has been minimal compared to last time & I have amazing friends that are helping occupy my time! It really has helped.

I still cramp every day. Mostly it is not painful, but like an exhausted-aware-of-my-uterus cramping. I imagine other IFers know what I mean! ;)

My (.)(.)s are extremely tender, but that started before we even did the transfer, so I'm not really counting it. They sure do hurt, though! :(

This sure doesn't seem like that much of an update, huh? LOL. Pretty much that I have been cramping & not too crazy. And plenty of Christmas activities over the weekend to keep my busy... I hope! :)

Have a wonderful Friday!!

2dp3dt

Well, have had lots of cramping the last couple of days. More so in the morning & not so uncomfortable to have to take Tylenol.

I am less cautious this round than I was with the past one. For example, I climbed the steps (super slowly) on the night of transfer. Last time, I slept downstairs on an air mattress for nearly 5 days, I think.

I guess I figure there is only so much I can control & most of them wouldn't really make a difference, I think.

I am still on 4 patches of Vivelle every other day & 2mL PIO each night. I have to go for bloodwork Thursday to check my progesterone + estrogen levels. Because, get this, they want to ensure I am taking my medications! Apparently, there are women out there that go through ALL OF THIS & don't actually take the medications. I can understand missing a dose or two, even, but risking the chance of scr.ewing it up?

CRAZY!

So, just going on about my day. I have been able to minimize my time Google-ing everything & my mind isn't completely obsessed yet over whether it will work or not.

It's weird, really. Hope you all are doing wonderfully out there!

Transfer Complete

Transfer is complete.

We had a 8c grade 2 (grade 1 is best, grade 4 worst), 4c grade 2, and 3c grade 3.

So, one that is promising, but two that aren't so much. Although, I have been Google-ing a bit & it seems that 4c day three embryos can become little babies, too.

Since the third was not in such good shape, the doctor + embryologist were comfortable transferring all three.

So, we are back home & I'm comfy on the couch watching a movie. DH went to pick up the little one who has been at my parents since yesterday evening. I sure do miss him!

Day Two Report

We have three embryos still. There's a 3c, 1c, and 1c. The embryologist still thinks the 1c embryos are viable or we would have transferred the 3c today. So, we are still in a holding/waiting pattern.

Tomorrow morning, we are set to head out to the clinic (approximately 3hrs away). On the way, the doctor will call to tell us if we are transferring 3d or 5d. That way, we will be on our way to Jax for a transfer or not too far away from home to turn around.

Mentally, it seems disappointing that they are only 1c, but if they thought they were completely gone we'd have transferred already. The embryologist did say that he thinks he sees nuclei developing & when they split once, they will be in the normal range of 2-4c at this point.

I looked back in my blog posts, but I don't remember how many cells the embies were with our first cycle. I know this last time, they were 2c, 3c, & 4c. I do remember knowing that they more than doubled, though. So maybe they will kick in & be 6c tomorrow?

I don't know.

Will update more!

Initial Fert Update

Somehow I missed the call this morning, but noticed the voicemail earlier this afternoon.

Our doctor called to let me know that all three eggs had survived the thaw AND fertilized!! We Gymboree another update early tomorrow... this will let us know how they are doing & if we are doing a transfer tomorrow. If all three are still viable tomorrow, we will not do transfer.

So, still day to day, but I am so thrilled about this. It's amazing that we have three little one now! :)

Fert Day

I had my day 13 ultrasound yesterday. My lining was appropriate & one of my ovaries had an 18mm follicle. I guess the estrogen normally inhibits any follicles being developed? I hadn't ovulated, so we are still a go for the thaw + ICSI today!!

Since the doctor will not transfer three embryos & cryo egg cycles are normally day 2 transfers, we will basically get day to day instructions. If all three thaw & fertilize, then Friday morning I get an update. If only one or two thaw & fertilize, the transfer will be a day 2. So, could be as early as Friday or as late as Monday.

I got to talk to the nurse that pretty much does the cryo egg research & data collection, so that was nice. She was pretty positive about our chances simply due to our age. I even requested a script for the desogen in case we aren't pregnant... I could hop right back into a cycle for January. I was trying to be realistic yesterday.

But today?

All I can think about is little embryos. Our little babies. And the two year old snuggler next to me. So weird that he used to be a little embryo.

Wow. It truly is amazing. Even if we don't become pregnant or stay pregnant, today we will have little embryos.

I am guessing my beta day will be December 22.

Will update more as I know. I have had some cramping, though, which is weird to me as I've never really experienced that with prior cycles?

Here Goes...

IVF#2 Part B is underway.

Although it doesn't seem like it!

I am on CD5 & just switched out my estrogen patches. I called earlier this morning to schedule my day 13 u/s + b/w. I assume this is very similar to an FET cycle, but not sure?

I need to call again to make sure the insurance authorization is still valid & all.

This is like dejavu for the cycle we had three years ago. Same sort of timeline.

Not too many people even know we are doing this, but like I mentioned... It doesn't even feel like I am doing anything. That is definitely nice!

Normal protocol is day 2 transfer. I am guessing we will be either a day 3 or day 5 as they have made it fairly clear they won't transfer three embryos & we won't have any embryos frozen... so assuming all three eggs survive thaw + fertilize, the longer they grow them out, the less chance all three will be "kicking" on transfer date.

Sure hope I can stay busy during this 2ww. I am gonna try!

Anybody Been There? Frozen Oocyte to Embryo Transfer?

My heart is beginning to lean more towards using the oocytes/unfertilized eggs from IVF#2. And, by the end of the calendar year.

I have Google-ed frozen egg repeatedly, so I'm not confused about the process. I am, however hoping to read more personal experiences... as rare as this is, I'm having a hard time finding blogs or articles from real people that have been through the fertilization, day two transfer, & potentially the pregnancy.

The paperwork we signed when we authorized the oocytes to be frozen reviewed all of the possible genetic "issues" babies born from our clinic's frozen oocyte program. The percentage is that of the normal population's conception rates. But, this is still considered experimental as it has not been done as long as frozen sp.erm or embryos.

I guess I'm a bit concerned with that?? They do recommend amniocentes.is if a pregnancy were to result.

I called the clinic to ask some questions that were basically answered with "That would be up to the doctor", BUT my sweet IVF nurse asked our doctor to call me & he did.

I learned some new things. We have five frozen oocytes frozin a 3-pack & a 2-pack ;)
The 3-pack consists of 2 mature oocytes, whereas the 2-pack consists of 2 immature oocytes. I thought all of them were mature, so that was new.

If we were to continue with this cycle, the plan would be to thaw the three mature & attempt fertilization. The clinic's protocol is to do a day 2 transfer then. I requested possibly a day 3 or day 5 & the doctor was open to at least day 3 & talking about considering day 5 if we really wanted to. If there are no resulting embryos or no pregnancy, then we'd move to another fresh cycle when we are ready.

We have some potential insurance changes that could extend the life of our fertility treatments, so when we are ready emotionally & physically to do a fresh cycle.. it is possible. Not sure if I ever will be, but that will be okay, too.

Our script for the estrogen patches + PIO are already completed. Once I get the "ok" from DH I will order them. We would have to buy 20 patches out of pocket, so it'll make this more expensive than I expected, but nothing compared to what it could be!!

Kind of getting excited. I feel more optimistic about this than I did about IVF. Not sure why, but it could also be just how I feel today.

Thanks for checking in!