8dp5dt

Didn't post yesterday. I was hoping to post at least a little bit for every day of this cycle, but it didn't happen yesterday.

I woke to the middle of a dream where I had JUST POAS & got a BFP. So, even though I decided I wasn't going to test Saturday when I had laid my head to sleep Friday night (got that?)... this dream had it fresh in my mind, so I did on Saturday morning (7dp5dt).

And there was only one line.

I know, I know... cuz I have googled the heck out of it. It could be too early, so it could be a false negative. Kinda took my hope away.

Was still cramping off & on yesterday. No nausea yesterday.

Today, I woke up with painful cramps. But, & this is weird & possibly explainable, after I voided my bladder... the painful cramps subsided. It has happened several days this week that the cramps eased off after I p.eed. Makes sense as a full bladder can put pressure on the uterus. Hence, having to have a full bladder for transfer or those ultrasounds if you're lucky enough to make it to the full anatomy scan at 18-20wks. Also, my endometriosis has fused my bladder & uterus together, so this is all how I explain the reduction in cramps following a po.tty visit.

Silly, I know.

I had considered taking another HPT this am, but it just didn't happen. It has been a rough couple of months, yall. Seriously. There was a point during the stim cycle that I wasn't even sure we'd make it to egg retrieval together. Somehow, that passed. Now, I'm not sure how much more we will make it through.

On the plus side, if it is a negative beta (on Tuesday... much closer now), then I will have a full bottle of PIO & a left over g.anirelex to try to get to someone else. That might bring enough money to pay for a pedicure.

At this point, my plan is to not POAS prior to beta. It is what it is & I honestly feel it has not worked. Up until yesterday, I had hopes. Now, I don't. And that is okay... we will keep trucking along with the most amazing son I could ever imagine.

Hope you all have a wonderful Monday