Now, Where's My Period?

Got my pill, should have started taking them cd2/Sunday, but waiting on my period.

We were cautiously hopeful initially, which has dangerously turned into very hopeful.

If she doesn't show up by Wednesday, we plan to POAS.

Also, my friend won a free IVF cycle Saturday at the seminar! It was SO exciting! I was even crying for her! :)

I'm sure I'll be posting more, but wanted to put that bit of info out there.

Where's My Pill?

Cycle day 26 and I still haven’t dropped off the prescription for the birth control; I’ve had it since May. I really haven’t had the time this month, but I’m wondering if it’s that little hope in the back of our minds that maybe, just maybe, THIS time we won’t need it. Like all of those stories we hear from fertiles… “My friend…”, “My boss’s daughter…”, “So-So’s cousin…”.

But, I will be doing the script thing tomorrow. We will be out of town Saturday & I don’t want to have to worry about filling it on Sunday (which should be cd2) when I need to begin taking it. I guess I should call my clinic, but I’m not sure if it matters what time I take it? The short stint I did on the Pill (back when we thought we’d produce many babies in our bedroom, haha), it was easier to take at night. I’m not so great at remembering stuff, but it helped to take it right before laying down. I know Lupron will be in the morning, but I don’t think it’ll matter what time of day the Pill will be taken. Or am I wrong?

I am very excited about this cycle, with the head knowledge it won’t work. Does that make sense? I’m sure it does to all of you. It’s weird. I guess I’m excited that this will be our biggest chance (they estimate 50-60% pregnancy rate) at conception, but not excited where I think it will work. I guess it has to be that kind of defense mechanism for all us. In reality, though, we would never even attempt this emotional & financial hardship if we didn’t have HOPE it would work.

In class last night, one of my closest friends sat next to me. I mentioned we had around 6 weeks to go (most of my classmates know & they are very supportive & sweet). She said “I bet Nick’s so excited, huh?”. Huh. Umm, no, he doesn’t really seem like it. Enter insecurity that this is something I’m pushing & he’s just floating along on the ride. This year (2008) since our first meeting with the RE in January was really the beginning of him realizing our infertility is a problem. That it’s okay to seek a doctor’s help. It was a faith seeking & trying time for both of us as we dealt with nasty hormonal pseudo-menopause, overwhelming costs, “discovering” our male infertility, & saving saving saving.

I felt like we were finally a team & he was looking forward to this as much as I was.

So, last night before falling asleep in bed, I asked HIM. “Are you not excited about IVF?” Basically, what I gather from our following exchanges is that he is excited about the outcome… the child we may have. He’s still not thrilled about the fact that we are having to do IVF. (Neither am I, of course.) He doesn’t want to get his hopes up at all because it will suck even more if it doesn’t work. He’s worried I’ve already gotten my hopes up about it (shouldn’t have told him I’d picked out some baby stuff). He’s finding it exhausting thinking of how hard we have worked to raise this money.

I know, we’re different to start with… males & females. Then add on individual differences. The man who’s excited about the possibility of getting a zero turn mower for our acreage, doesn’t seem to excited about our biggest chance.

But, it really comes down to protecting ourselves. So, I continue to fill my time with creating lists, allowing myself 2 weeks for self-prescribed bed rest following transfer, cleaning & clearing as much as I can. He just does what he feels needs to be done. Cleaning, fixing stuff, maintaining the cars. It’s kind of how it’s always been. So, now instead of wondering about IVF all day long (I can’t NOT think about it)… I now wonder if he’s thinking about it too.

I’m sure a blog post will be dedicated JUST to this, but I realized how ironic the timing of this cycle is.

We decided to get off the Pill Thanksgiving weekend 2004 while celebrating the holiday with my in-laws in Central Florida. Our IVF cycle is supposed to be beginning Thanksgiving weekend 2008 while celebrating the holiday with my in-laws in Central Florida.

Weird.

Hope everyone’s doing well out there!

Freebie!

Found this link on my FAVORITE deal website (Deal News)

click here: FREE Starbucks Cappaccino

So Close

I have been counting down the days to our IVF start (42 right now), but it kind of hit me on the ride into work today that in less than 2 weeks... we'll be heading to JAX for our IVF consult + mock transfer. My period is due this weekend, then I will start the Pill & call to schedule the mock transfer. Then, it's just counting down more for the start date.

Not too much going on. We're heading to a fertility seminar this weekend, then to Tampa area for a church reunion, then next week we'll be starting back on our kitchen renovation. We're still attending our MAPP (fostering) class & had a very good meeting last night.

Have about 5 or 6 class left for the semester, then the final exam right around our projected egg retrieval. Will be interesting to see how that all works out, but I'm trusting it will.

Thanks for the comments about the Lupron being covered. I feel stupid that I didn't think of that earlier, but I was just honed in our estimated cost sheet from the clinic that I didn't really THINK about each one. Should be picking up the desogen + doxycycline tomorrow or Friday for starting the desogen this weekend.

Hope everyone's doing well.

A Question for the Endo Patients Out There....

Any of ya'll get a Rx from your GYN for the Lupron for IVF?

For some reason, it just hit me today that it could save us like $150 with our insurance copay for Lupron as treatment of endo.

Just wondering. I plan to call them after their lunch break, but thought I'd put feelers out there for anyone else that may have "circumvented" this issue of coverage.

Hope everyone's doing well! :)

Just Next Month

Pretty exciting to think that next month, we will be starting IVF!! I mean, there's not really much going on towards the cycle for us except trying to prepare for the cycle. Like how am I going to distract myself? What can I try to plan & what will I definitely avoid? I mean, not much progress... but have so much to think about!

We've had lots of wonderful news in our little world lately! Many positives... it makes it exciting to think we may be experiencing our dreams soon, too.

I'm on cd15, so in about 2 weeks, I will start the BCP. Still need to drop that prescription off & the antibiotics for later on, I guess. The end of October will be our IVF consult + mock transfer. Then we go in the day before Thanksgiving for our very initial appointment & they plan for us to begin the stims the day after T'giving. Glad to know that my boss is so great... he is completely aware (as are most of my close coworkers) of our plans for IVF & how they may require last minute appointments & call-ins. Very wonderful. Our clinic is in Jacksonville, which is about a 3 hour drive, so that makes our commute a little less stressful.

Hope everyone is doing well out there! Much love!

PS- Oh, yeah... just finished up watching Enchanted. It was SOOOO cute & I absolutely adored it! Hubby is not around right now, so I thought it would be the perfect time to watch it! :)

We're Funded!

My MIL emailed this morning & told me that they will cover the remaining amount we will need for IVF in November! We will continue to sell the approx $500-600 worth of stuff we still have, then they will cover the needed amount. Very nice!

Which means all we do now is wait! If it weren't for my school schedule & optimizing the chance I can continue in the nursing program w/out a delay, I'd want to start earlier! I will be on the Pill a week or two longer than normal so that I won't be on Lupron too long.

Just wanted to share my excitement with my buddies! :) We have been so fortunate to go through IVF w/out debt! I am so consumed with this excitement, that I'm finding it hard to concentrate on other things I'm supposed to be doing... like studying, concentrating on school, focusing at work. I'm like in the infactuation stage of this! I know it'll be even crazier come November & December with all the hormones raging through my body.

Anyone do their own self soothing techniques? I'm trying to look ahead & have something I will fall back on to decrease stress. Trying to work acupuncture in my cycle is already stressful to me, so I'm not even going to pursue that option... although with any future potential FETs we will do acu. Our schedules are to crazy to try to manage that NEW schedule.

Since exercise may be out of the question (not complaining here...), I was wondering about afternoon walks with my hubby even just around our property. Or sitting on the front yard porch for a bit. Some kind of routine or moment just for me or us. Anybody do something like that? If so, what did you do?

I am also interested in yoga... don't want to have to pay $20+ for a DVD, so I'm planning to contact the library & see if they have anything on file.

So, basically, I wanna do something I can do at home where I can set my own schedule. Just try to avoid add'l strssors.

I'm also trying to decrease the clutter in the house & organize as much as possible to help reduce that stressor.

Umm, can anyone out there give me ideas that helped you cope with the extra stress, emotions, feelings, time constraints... all the stuff! I'd really appreciate any advice ya'll can share!

Thanks!